I'm having a rough time right now. Basically, I'm a huge emotional mess, but because I'm right in the middle of a horrible situation, I can't go into details. Unfortunately, it really is in my best interest to not talk about it; instead, I just have to sit in limbo for an unknown amount of time until something is decided. I'm not good at waiting, especially when the end result involves a potentially unpleasant life-changing decision.
This horrible, currently unbloggable situation led to a mini-panic attack on Wednesday night. It was my second-ever attack and although I was able to get it under control fairly quickly, it was still scary. The first time I had a panic attack was about six years ago and it was so bad that my chest hurt for week afterward. Thankfully, this wasn't nearly as bad, but the feelings that caused it are still there and still very raw.
As I wait for answers, I'm trying to continue with my life and go about my normal activities. Although it's not easy, I've been fairly successful in keeping things together in public. I did break down at work on Thursday, but managed to make it to the bathroom before I started sobbing. I'm not one to cry at work and the thought of having to face my students with red eyes and nose helped put an end to it. I then spent Friday and Saturday indulging in some much-needed distractions and relaxation: movie-watching with Beebs (both movies were incredible) and lunch & facials with the girls. I'm spending tonight watching the Oscars (which I absolutely love).
I'm hoping things will move forward soon, but I don't know. I know the best thing to do for now is to try to not obsess over things I cannot control, but that's always easier said than done.
26 comments:
I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time. I think it's a good thing to find the balance between sobbing your eyes out and seeking distractions. I'm always an email away if you need to get anything out.
Take time to pray, the distance between the floor and our knees is not that far. Also read His word, there His word will comfort us.
have a nice day and take care!
So sorry you are going thru this. Please let me know if there is ANYTHING I can do. I'm a phone call or email away.
Hugs
I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. Spending time with good friends can ease the frustration of waiting. Take care.
Oh! I'm so sorry you're in such pain. :( I'm wishing for a speedy answer/resolution to your situation. It is good to know you have such loyal friends to support you at this time. Keep being good to yourself!
I am sorry that it is a rough time for you. You have my number if you need a break and a "re-tox"
{{hugs}}
K
I know this is not a easy time for you. I also know how tough panic attacks can be.
I'm here if you need to talk.
Hugs.
So sorry. Sending hugs your way. XOXO
Thinking of you! Do take care of yourself...
I'm sending good thoughts your way. I hope everything works out.
I feel terrible that you are going through a rough time. You know where to find me if you ever need anything.
I'm so sorry you are unhappy. : (
I hope everything turns out OK. Hugs to you.
I think the one thing you have to remind yourself is you do have some control over a seemingly uncontrollable situation. If you don't receive answers in what you consider a decent amount of time, you can move on. That is your right. That is your choice. It's something you control. So, while you wait, hopefully reminding yourself of that will make you feel a little less out of control.
((((((((comebacknikki))))))))
Much love from WI. Hope the turmoil passes soon.
I'm sorry you're having a rough time. Hope it turns around soon.
So sorry to hear. Will be wishing you the best.
Thinking about you. E-me if you want a virtual ear, ok? I'm wishing you strength.
--maggie
Sorry to hear about this and wishing you the best.
Sorry you are having a rough time. Hugs.
SOrry you are having a rough time. Hope things start looking up for you soon. ((Hugs, happy healing vibes and all that stuff))
So sorry things are tough for you right now. I'll be thinking of you.
Hugs from over here, too. I hope you find your way through.
I hope everything works out.
I think the nature of blogging changes. I actually wrote a post about this on MY blog, kind of, the other day. I, like you, have blogged for a long time. It's gone through a lot of changes and I've switched identities THREE times. One of which is no longer available. It's a little schizo, because our lives change over the years and our focus changes, too. And you and I, and others, are kind of public figures and the worry when our "real life" mixes with blog life can be huge. Last year's blog (the one that's gone bye bye) was so painful for me, and now, every time I think of writing a similar post, I delete. But I also don't have a lot of other posts in me, either. I'm having a chat with another blogger on how Facebook/Twitter might be changing the nature of blogging, too. That which does not change dies.
So anyway. Long story short (too late) I hear ya sistah. I love your blog, miss it, and I miss my old blog persona a little too.
Hugs. I know how it feels to feel that way. I once had it out w/ a student and we were both crying in the hallway and it did suck. I hope your unbloggable situation gets better.
Mine kind of has, but I still have to be cool about it. And it is still kind of unbloggable-- I can write about it, but I have to pretend to be nice. :)
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