Don't you just hate it when you haven't done laundry in so long that you've gone through not only your good/favorite underwear, but also the ones you usually avoid wearing (because they're stretched out, give you wedgies, etc.)? After going through underwear group #2, you're then at the point in which you have no choice but to move on to the sexy ones that you would rather not wear because they are a bit uncomfortable, but they're not so uncomfortable that you can't suck it up and wear them every once in awhile.
Oh, but your current predicament goes beyond that fairly common laundry/underwear issue. This time you get to that dreaded day in which you realize that you've also gone through all of the sexy-but-tolerable underwear and now you're down to the ones that are not meant to be worn for more than a few minutes and
definitely not in public (unless you're acting out some type of meet-someone-at-the-airport-in-just-a-trench-coat-and-raunchy-underwear fantasy). You're now left with an assortment of fine choices such as the red lace pair with the cutout crotch, the purple sequin-encrusted g-string with the vulgar demand (eat me!) emblazoned in cursive across the front, or the leather thong with the strategically placed zipper.
On top of the lack of comfortable/decent underwear issue, you've also started your period (which makes you
especially not interested in wearing skimpy underwear) and you're faced with your longest work day of the week (12 hours at school: 3 classes, 2 meetings, 1 hour of tutoring). There's no time for you to make a quick Target stop before work because you've timed your mornings down to the minute to allow for maximum sleep. You absolutely must be on time today because you're giving a midterm. You also won't have more than a fifteen-minute break until 5:00, which is sooo far away, and by then you will have already spent the majority of the day in the quite uncomfortable, but very sexy, underwear. There's the option of going sans underwear (which you've done many times before - it was actually a quite frequent occurrence back in your single lady clubbing days) but again, you're dealing with the whole period issue, so that definitely is not going to happen. You could always go the skirt and tights route, but you feel like in your current condition, there still wouldn't be enough layers - not that you expect something catastrophic to happen, but you can never be too sure, especially when said monthly visitor decided to show up a full week early.
Of course, this all could have been avoided if you had actually done laundry... or hell, if you had even paid more attention the day before, you would have noticed you were down to the last decent-ish pair and you could have picked up some more on the way home that night. Well, that probably would have happened if you hadn't stayed up so damn late the previous two nights because you were engrossed in a really fascinating book... the lack of sleep (combined with the PMS) really did a number on you and you were lucky to have even made it out of bed that day.
You know you
have to pick a pair and that you don't have too much time to think about it (there's that must-be-on-time-to-work issue). You also know the three you're staring down really are the best of the options (both the the chain front crotchless thong and the pearl thong were definitely not even on the table), even though the crotch cutout pair offers very little coverage (and lace can be irritating), g-strings lead to far too much ass-touching and wedgie-digging (and the part that goes in your crack is the part that is adorned with the sequins), and zippers can pose quite the serious hazard (not to mention what leather can do to delicate skin).
Yeah, I really would hate to be in that situation. It sounds like it would totally suck
Sigh.
